Leave your moralistic perambulations out of my porn.

[yukie1013]

Thank the lord no one on my flist does this. But - oh christ, bear with me, I have to yowl.

Okay, fandom denizens of idiotville?

Your choice of pairing does not make you morally or intellectually superior to someone who ships differently.

I know this is difficult for many people to grasp, as they're quite hellbent on scrambling for any 'high ground' they can get their smudgy little fingers on, but honestly - shut up, children.

If you do not ship a 'majority pairing' or if your OTP is less popular, you are not persecuted. No, you're not. Hassled on occasion by evangelistic shippers, probably (and the fact that you're so incredibly blind to your own rampant evangelism most of the time is quite laughable). Flamed, likely. But not persecuted, and comparing your so-called 'plight' to the genuine difficulties faced by people who are actually discriminated against is utterly pathetic, and a sure earmark of a privileged, sheltered, spoilt child who wouldn't know true persecution if it sat upon you.

Shipping a less popular pairing (or 'uglier characters' or etc.) does not make you morally or intellectually superior. There are no secret coded messages from the PTB. Someone who likes a popular ship is not 'a sheeple' (mind your plurals, if you please, you're embarrassing yourselves further).

Also, when neither ship has canonical confirmation, neither of you are right. The 'DESTINED LOVE FOREVER' fen who honestly believe that their unconfirmed ships are totally endorsed by the PTB and supported universally in canon are, to borrow a bon mot, delusional. And so, dear 'oppressed minority', are you!

If one pairing is nothing but foeyay, pure and simple, and the other is based solely on speculation or a brief exchange in an extended canon, neither ship is more valid than the other. Though I'm curious as to where the people who don't know what foeyay or rival-shipping or what-have-you came from. Were you under a rock when people began to ship Mulder and Krycek? Were you under a rock when people shipped Malachite (Kunzite) and brainwashed Mamoru-Endymion-wossname? I can name any number of ships to this effect. The vast majority of foeyay is about the rivalry and sublimating two rivals'/enemies' desires to mangle each other into extremely rowdy sex. it's not love. It's lust, and sarcasm rallies. the TWOO WUV crew are another matter. Nonstop eeeeeee and attempts to coax someone into shipping your ship is annoying, so quit.

it's not twoo wuv, it's either 'they don't like each other' or 'they don't like each other but still want to plow one another into the mattress'. Liking someone and wanting to do them don't always go hand in hand. There is such a thing as stupid, stupid lust and if your characters aren't the sort who adhere to usual moral boundaries and expectations, then they may be more likely to just plow one another and insult each others' moms all the while or something. Or they may not be, but for purposes of porn, we decide that they may be.

Likewise, there is nothing wrong with speculative fic. Contemplating what a couple of characters would or wouldn't do if they were to chat over coffee is fun. Whether they're similar character types or complementary, whether they're in the same social spheres or not, whether they're on equal footing or senpai/kouhai or oldbie and newbie - it's fun. I've seen EXTREMELY well-done speculative fiction in many fandoms. I've seen really, really GOOD what-ifs. Hell, one of my ships (not an OTP, I don't really have those) is like this. Braig and Dilan, or their other sides. I fully admit some of it's aesthetic. They're both attractive in an 'unusual' way (this is why 'i am better because I ship not attractive' is bunkum - standards of hotness are relative), and the interplay of personalities is fun to bounce around. You may well think I'm insane, and that's your prerogative. But your thinking I'm insane isn't going to stop me from writing fic. And quite frankly, if you passive-aggressively message me a billion times with irritating little hints about how stupid my ship is, I'm going to block you for being insufferable. Because what you're doing, really, is trying to get me to adhere to what you think i should and shouldn't write through cowardly little guilt-trips and shaming. I'm sorry, Felecia, but no. The same goes for ranting over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again about how depraved/stupid/secretly-abusive/morally-bankrupt/nasty-bad-mean anyone who ships your 'rival' pairing is. Especially if someone on your FL ships it, and you know they do, and you know they read the comm. Query - WHAT moral high ground, again, you pitiful child? You can't even muster the brainpower to CLICK BACK OR SCROLL DOWN PAST a TAGGED FIC. You can't even manage the maturity or courage required to address something your friend is doing that you don't like. If they keep linking you fic and you don't ship it, just say the pairing doesn't interest you! What 'wank' are you preventing!?

I feel the same way abut the sort of craven who isn't brave enough to speak frankly and tactfully about something someone in their RP is doing that bothers them...but have no difficulty crying an crying and crying to anonymemes about how m34nz0rz their partner is for...not reading their minds, essentially. Entitlement brats irritate me, and they come in all ages. My age, younger, older - it doesn't matter. The Harry Potter blowups proved that it's not limited to age group or gender or anything typically given as a guideline for 'inevitable wankery'; it's not only women, or only younger or older people.

Everybody wanks! (I smell a filk coming on!)

But I suspect respectful address of issues is far too much to expect of the likes of idiots who really think they are oppressed over their choice of pairings.

Christ-cakes, if rarity of fic meant oppression i;d have more claim to it that you do, o shrill ones. I can't find a hell of a lot of good Hakkai-Yisou, or Ukoku-Koumyou, or 1!Ansem-Sephiroth, and so on. Therefore, I'm more oppressed than you, by your logic. Kneel before your queen.

I don't begrudge or debate anyone's right to ship what they want, when they want, but I strongly dislike the sort of immature netizen who compares shipping something less popular to being barred from a job because of their sexual orientation or ethnicity or level of ability it is NOT the same, you indescribably stupid children! It is not the same.

Let me make it sparkly, so the more empty-headed of you can grok it -

IT IS NOT THE SAME

Get over here so I can beat you into a pulp with this clue-bat!

Neither the foeyay nor the speculative pairing has any canonical confirmation, therefore NEITHER is more valid than the other and you shrill, empty-headed, cowardly, passive-aggressive 'oppressed minority' kiddies are making the rest of us 'crackshippers' and speculative-shippers look BAD.

And the same goes for people who whine about how cracky slash/femmeslash is killing fandom while shipping their OC author-avatar with like - Solid Snake, and vice versa, and the whiners about non-canon het versus ambiguous pairings that could go either way and other things and the stuff and junk and the thing and NOBODY CARES Djkhdfgjkhdfgjldfgjlkdfsh shut up shut up shut uppppp.

You wanna fic, FIC. You wanna write your brand of porn? Dude, WRITE. No one's stpping you, and the world needs more smut variety! But it's not gonna write itself while you sob and WHEN I WAS at people who really don't care or who, like me, really don't have patience with sympathy-scramblers. Sit down, shut up, and write your goddamn porn.

Oh, and if anyone whimpers that I was less fair to their side, cry moaoaaaoaooar. I dislike any kind of evangelistic hypocrite, majority or minority, and evangelizing further to me about how I'm oppressing you too is going to get mockery, not guilt. I feel no guilt for defenestrating you or your ilk. Cry to someone who gives a damn and/or who has enough patience not to boot you for being goddamn pity-fishingly annoying.

Comments

[starnik.livejournal.com]

If you want to see batshit crazy shippers, you should look to the Avatar: The Last Airbender shippers. When the series ended and one "ship" didn't happen, the group boycotted the series, flamed the creators, and are now actively trying to produce their own ending to the show.

That experience with shippers, as well as with the "foeyay" Starscream/Megatron shippers, have brought my opinion of the entire fan fiction community to an all-time low. I now believe that everyone with an account at Fanfiction.net should have their houses razed to the ground, and they should be banned from the Internets (oh noez!)

Seriously, I'm sure it's a harmless... "hobby" when done in moderation, but some of us fans of the show get really tired of having their delusional romantic dreams shoved in our faces every time we try to have a discussion about the show.

[psi-yamaneko.livejournal.com]

Pokemon shippers in the old days were pretty ...nuts... too. The forums would literally be torn up and at war over them. :|

I admit there are ships I don't like and I don't support but I don't think LESS of people that DO support them. It's like hating someone for having a certain favorite color, it's just weird.

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

What were the Pokémon ships? o.o I know there was the main Team Rocket one but -

My, my, my!

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

(lol edit son of edit who was son of edit begat by edit D: )

Thus far the most maniacal shipwars I've seen were, in chronological order,

(a) Mulder+Scully vs Skinner+Scully
(b) Cloud+Aerith vs Cloud+Tifa (And this one is still going in places ohgahdwhy)
(c) Harry+Ginny vs Harry+Hermione (UTTERLY BATFUCK - the flaming of the creator, people making up their own internet stalkers and flaming themselves with IP anonymizers to make it look like they had a hatewad parade after them, random trolls, people calling people hookers and implying that they were abusive spouses...totally batfuck)

The Kingdom hearts ones are kind of sporadic and short-lived because the fandom has the collective attention span of a gnat on crack. Some of them recur, some of them just stop when the respective sides get bored. XD

I just write crack and occasionally stare!

[psi-yamaneko.livejournal.com]

CRACKY SLASH IS DESTROYING MY FANDOM.

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

OH LAWD-A-MERCY

[in-a-dark-wood.livejournal.com]

Sanctus x Dante otp

[hane.livejournal.com]

AMEN SISTAH

RAISE YOUR VOICE oh how is there not Ukoku/Koumyou you'd think people would be all over that.

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

They're busy writing him paired off with Kougaiji. Or Hazel. Or Sanzo. And doing all three badly.

[hane.livejournal.com]

ffffff.

I have to say that some of the Saiyuki ships carry more weight with me than others, especially since Minekura IS deliberately laying down hints, but yeah. People can write any goddamn pairing they want as long as they execute it with some kind of standards.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

I've seen quite a bit? But it may be the circles I run in, I just rejoined saiyuki like, er, last week.

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

Ee. I must've missed those or something.

[hane.livejournal.com]

I would have expected it to be up there with the flagship pairings. Minekura certainly drops enough hints.

This icon is very relevant.

[technobubblegum.livejournal.com]

lol tl;dr

compares shipping something less popular to being barred from a job because of their sexual orientation or ethnicity or level of ability

Please don't tell me someone actually said that. I have little enough faith in humanity as it is.

Also, speaking of minority ships- I'm not the only one who'd like to see Larxene get Marluxia up against a wall or desk or bookcase or something and have her way with him, am I? But even on the kink meme almost no one writes them. ;_;

This being KH fandom, they probably just hate Larx because she has a vagina.

I want to be your icon's girlfriend

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

People have done this. The Harry Potter ship wars were epic in their lunacy.

I would LOVE TO SEE THAT TOO. Mabbe I should draw it.

And - yeah. If you have boobs and are in KH, fandom haet ur face. D:

Get in line ;)

[technobubblegum.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, HP fandom. Sadly, I can believe that from them... Harmonians, I'm guessing?

*approves*

And that's terrible. D:

[incisivis.livejournal.com]

I ship ugly characters and *know* I'm morally bankrupt. Yay for me! :)

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

HOORAY FOR CRIME AND SENSELESS ACTS OF VIOLENCE!

(...okay that reference just totally dated me XD)

[angelari.livejournal.com]

Ship wars drive me INSAAANE. Somehow, I almost never end up being interested in the "popular" pairings, but (for the most part) I don't CAARE. The only time I'm really ever bothered by popular pairings is when I have a few moments of whiny selfish bratattack about why there's not more stuff *I* want to read. But I do it in the privacy of my own home, and nobody but my housemates have to listen to me. I'm sure as hell not going to bash somebody because they don't write my preferred pairing. That's just... ridiculous.

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do the WHY THERE NO IS MOAR macro too. I think everyone does at SOME point in time it's just how you HANDLE the "BUT YARGH }:O" that matters. I mean, I've had someone basicaly friend my LJ, be decent for a while, and then passive-aggressively demand that I change the way I write pr0n because it wasn't to her liking.

She gradually got whinier and ruder and displayed a remarkable undercurrent of intolerance and hypocrisy and crappy netiquette (you don't send people f'locked writing) and an army of invisible supportive lurkers was claimed - I told her to get real and banned her, she anon-posted to whine some more and try to play 'nice' (like Nice Guys, basically, that kinda nice), I told her to get lost, she whined about me forever on a comm, I didn't give her the attention she wanted.

It was a while back, and it's not so much the bint herself that annoys me as it is the attitude she displayed. There's this - THING where consumers (readers, poeple looking at your art, etc.) seem to believe that since they give you attention/cash/squee, you therefore owe them because THEY made you FAMOUS and now you are beholden to them because blah blah blah and if you don't do exactly as they want to the letter you're meeeeaaan. The HP shipwars come to mind again, and the Avatar ones were bad for it (I can't say I blame the creators for stirring the pot). I don't know if fandom was always like this, it probably WAS but it never had such a large gathering-place as the internet before....but what is with the 'tude of some people?

Seriously. Unless it's a commission, I'm not obligated at all to write r draw exactly to one person's tastes and specifications. And when I'm commissioned, I do that. What they want and how I do things come together, and we tweak it until it's really good, and then I finish it, and it's for them. When I'm not commissioned, I build my sandcastles my own way.

I just find the largely by-rote descriptions of foreplay in slash (seriously, it's like fic thinks there's a step by step manual) to be kind of awkward, and I'm more interested in reactions and dialogue and how the POV character is feeling from moment to moment. Maybe I gloss over some things too much, but I usually assume the characters and my audience are experienced enough with smut to know that yes, the preparatory business is going on - I mean, come on, like Dracula's gonna skip that, he KNOWS about how squishy mortals are, he probably invented several kinks, and hur hur he knows about impalement knowwhatImean hurr hurr *killed by bats* I am terribly sorry about that, I seem to have channeled Butthead or something.

But two experienced partners are gonna know the ins and outs (I am so very sorry) of the smut they are getting up to. And if one partner is less experienced, the ethical oldbie will take more care. (Even Dracula did this, which says something XD; I don;t know WHAT, but something.) I could probably be more specific, but the flow of the scene and stuff affects what gets written about it. Maybe I assume way the hell too much, but my thought is that if the catcher in a slash scene is having a good time of it, the pitcher did everything beforehand right. I figured that would be an understood thing, if there's at least one experienced partner. I'm familiar with stupid n00b mistakes in smut, and I try to avoid the hell out of them. XD;

Also, IMHO someone who demands absolute realism in a fic with frickin' tentacles in it is kind of weird.

(Syndrome's face is lol XD)

[novastrike.livejournal.com]

Twatwads drive me from writing fanfic unless I know what I'm doing because apparently, every fancharacter is out to bang the series hottie, which is WRONG because he wants to bang his canon girlfriend/fanon girlfriend/boyfriend/fanon boyfriend/some fucktroll's other half of otp/Jesus.

And, y'know, a fancharacter is the spawn of the devil, dont'cha know. Unless, of course, it's written so well people orgasm in it's golden light and the fancharacter gets abused.

As for OTPs, I only stare at one ship and say "Get that pairing the hell away from me."

Most others I'm ambivalent. I'm just in it for the crack lulz.

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

Everywhere in 4chan seems to get the brain worms intermittently. D:

Your friends is very very weird, and i say that as someone who is very very weird herself about things but - yes. Blagh!

[furikku.livejournal.com]

IDK what you're talking about I am totally oppressed by there not being a lot of fanart of my ships. :(

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

*oppresses maor by drawing other ships*

...Wait is it oppression if my ship is also not a popular one or -




I'm so confused now.