Entries tagged with i am such a dork

TITLE: Purple - Red = Blue
FANDOM: WoW
PEOPLE: Jaina and Aethas, primarily.
PAIRING: None, really.
RATING: PG-ish.
WARNINGS: If you actually like how the game canon is you'll probably get all madpants at me for making fun of it. :D But if you don't, this may entertain you. Hey, I like making nonsensical shit make sense. Silk purse out of a sow's ear, if you will!
NOTES: SHE'S PEEING ON CANON'S RUG AGAIN

So yeah lol I got sick of the hackery and decided to work within the boundaries of canonical events to SOME extent, but make things make fucking sense and keep people IC as I did so. And then this happened. Takes place after the stupid bell crap (which ended differently because I don't feel the urge to be edgy and grimdark). JAINA DISAPPROVES OF PORTAL macro goes here!

So the background: Theramore still got pwnt, BUT there is no lol realityhole, and it got pwnt in a manner that was less contrived. There were minimal casualties (and none on the civilian front)--although a certain carrot-top mage is comatose as a result of the arcane backlash, as are most of the other folks who were too close when everythang splod. (There's only so much one can do with a lot of hungry Felhunters and some hardcore counterspell-shields.) Jaina's roaring rampage of revenge was Garrosh-centric (everybody else just got ice-blocked or teleported to Stonard) and she beat the pants off him and let him live because she knows he has a fragile little ego and it'd be painful for him to live with being owned by a giiirrrllll wweh. XD

Anyway :B Have some Jaina being a badass fucking diplomat. BECAUSE SHE IS. Eat me, Blizzard.

This is one of the few times you'll see me acknowledge canon.

--

"Sunreaver, we need to talk. I know this wasn't...your...Sunreaver? Can you please take off your helm? It's driving me crazy. It has been since Northrend. So...please?"

"...I have hat hair."

"I won't laugh."

( ... )

Why is it that whenever I set out to meta about things my mind wanders to food first of all.

OH WELL!

Suffice it to say this is all about AU Stormwind because canon is boring and stuff and nobody talks about this in-game and I like food. Food is a Major Thing in my family and a MAJOR major thing in my girlfriend's. So yeah, when I think about differing cultures the thing I think of first is often cooking. Food = home.

BASICS: Stormwind cuisine is some kind of joyous WTF hybrid of different aspects of Provençal, Canadian Maritime, Irish, British, Welsh, and Norwegian cuisine, to compare it to our world foodwise. In-universe, it's influenced by High Elven and Dwarven cooking primarily, with Night Elven and Draenei running a close second.

Stormwind has a tea culture similar to that of many places in the UK. If you ask a Stormwinder what meals he or she eats throughout the day, you'll hear 'breakfast, dinner, (high) tea and supper'. They do 'full breakfasts' much of the time (eggs, bacon, toast, baked beans, and so on). If you hear a Stormwinder mention 'low tea', that's an afternoon snack.

Also, King Varian Wrynn is really fond of fish and chips.

( and the miscellaneous categories of of snacky-snacky! )

OH NO SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN

WoW Meta: Snacky-snacky, Stormwind-style.