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Talking about the books I've read, now! I've not read all of them, yet, but I'm going to try to for posterity's sake if nothing else. (I may, however, avoid some of them, because emotional abuse and ableist bullshittery about addiction are two of my huge "shove-a-runeblade-up-your-nose-o-gram!" buttons.)

The books I've read all of:
-The Last Guardian
-Lord of the Clans
-Of Blood and Honor
-Arthas: Rise of the Lich King

The books I've read a little of:
-Beyond the Dark Portal
-Cycle of Hatred

All of these have timeliningLOLOLOLOL to some extent, though some have it worse than others (Metzen, what is this even). Some authors are better at keeping internal consistency, others are really not. Of all the books, I liked The Last Guardian most. This is sort of kind of damning with faint praise because none of the books are especially AWESOMESAUCE per se, but out of all of them, it was the most technically solid.

So I'll give a short rundown of my thoughts on all these and try to keep it concise (LOL). XD

SPOILERS needless to say.

...and struck him upon the dangling participle. )

SO YEAH that's my stupid reviews of things! Whee! I may come back later an expand on some of this or I may just keep faffing around growing carrots in Pandaria. XD
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So I *cough*procured*cough* some digital copies of various tie-in novels and comics and et cetera and so forth on night during a fit of insomnia and boredom. Haven't managed to read much of Knaak's malarkey beyond a few sentences (the cadence of his writing is just irritating as almighty fuck to me, like every sentence is like "s/he was an adjective, adjective noun" and it reminds me of this goofy song my sister and I sang as kids: "oh in the dark, dark woods you find a dark, dark house and in the dark, dark house you find a dark, dark room" etc. and it ends with finding a ghost in a dark, dark box, but my sister tended to put the box with the ghost inside of fifteen or so MORE prior dark, dark boxes--or as many dark, dark boxes as she could get away with before my dad flipped out and demanded we knock it off) but I did manage to read some of it!

HERE I SHALL YAMMER ABOUT THE THINGS I READ! This isn't really a review asmuch as a bunch of impressions and random piles of bollocks. I'll cover the manga/manhwa and comics in this entry; books come next.

Needless to say ZOMG SPOILERS

words, pictures, and funky text formatting! )

I'll be gettin' into the actual novels in my next post.
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So the stupidness what is canon right now has inspired me to actually try to explain this guy, as by now they're so radically different as to make people wonder what I'm on probably! WHEE!

Oh well. I have fun writing him and he actually makes sense. (Also, he has not shaved his head and tattooed his lower jaw. And his head is not too small for his body. And he doesn't wear the stupid HORNS OMFG what is that even. He does however have a big ass Warsong Clan mark tat on his back now.)

Anyway, I'mma start off here by discussing his Many Issues because they govern a lot of his life for along time (he gets better) and they're what cause the most problems for him. They fall into three rough categories:

1) issues dealing with himself
2) issues dealing with culture
3) issues about his dad

So I'mma go through all of these. This, again, is AU!Garrosh, so if something seems WTFz0rs it's probably not canon. Mwah hah. Also, I am NOT making excuses for the stupid things he does (which are not the same stupid things as canon, but are still stupid). I'm trying to explain why he thought he should do 'em. XD

this is an LJ cut that isn't wearing pitlord horns )
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You are probably pretty damn Canadian if:

-You are writing AU!not-so-damn-stupid!Garrosh Hellscream explaining just WTF he was doing with the Evel Knievel dirigible shit...

...And you write him as saying he was "trying to deke that damn dragon out, keep it away from the rest of the zeppelins" and then realize that you've written an Orc explaining that he was trying to deke something out and that you didn't even think twice about using "deke" even though Orcs probably don't say "deke" and chances are a bunch of your readers won't know WTF that word even means anyway. lawl.

In conclusion, nonstupid punkass Garrosh is fun to write because he does things like almost Leeroy a zeppelin into a mountain in effort to deke a dragon out so it doesn't eat the rest of his troops. And hey if the Alliance sees him being a a raging badass deke-master or their airship pwns the dragon too, so much the better.

Also I've had too much caffeine.

ETA: Uh wow lol maybe I should explain the Canuck-ese--'deke' is abbreviated from 'decoy', and it's hockeyslang. XD Deke (out) = feinting, faking someone out.
yukie1013: (Default)

This is going to start out tongue-in-cheek and become more serious. I make fun of annoying douchebro "rhetoric" and closet-case dumbassery beyond this point as well as digging my elbow into the side of the sexist and homophobic antilogic such people employ.

For what it's worth, I really do like the pairing I'm on about up in here. XD And I do wish that the related in-game flipout inquestion had led to some actual character development instead of stupid plot hamfisting.

Oh well, what are you gonna do?

(In my case; write more m/m fic, because Blizzard handed this pairing to me on a platter. You can't stop the flamin' rainbows, guys. Fabulosity will reign no matter how hard you try to avoid it. XD)

Now, on with the BLUH BLUH. XD Note that I AU the hell out of Varian in my own writing because canon pisses me off, but I am discussing circa-Wrath canon Varian here.

Warning for discussion of emotional/verbal abuse within, in the context of 'this is what happened when I tried to repress things because people demanded that I do that'.

Also contains a Gurren Lagann ep7 spoiler. XD;

omg dudez in love with dudez! in WoW! LE GASP )
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If you like Kael and Illidan and Vashj, and think the bum deal they got in BC should fall down a hole with angry qiraji and a sham-wow?

You really need to read her fic.

Because Heart of the Phoenix, it is really damn good. ♥

If you've been keeping up with it/know of it already and want the latest epicness, it's here; if you want to read from the beginning, get thee hence to AO3!

This fic makes my imagination run away with me hardcore XD

Kyl's writing kicks righteous and copious amounts of buttock.
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Even though it's a pain in the nuts to run around if you're used to riding. XD

Even though I've done it a few times.

Even though Dar'Khan has a stupid name. XD

Even though it makes me even more irritable with some of the more egregious Wrath and Cataclysm writing and the lack of effort involved in a bunch of it, Cata especially (there are exceptions, but for the most part--jesus you fucking slackoffs).

Even though some of it ties into the totally idiotic Kael Derail.

Even though the class-quest NPCs make me sad now because they have no purpose.

Even though they put a pointless fucking character into it now (Veresa does fuck-nothing; I want IT's version of her in the game, not this suddenly xenophobic little dry-drunk one-dimensional gary stu's prize douchesse who sounds like the sobbing brat neck beards snuffling and fapping about eewwwhhhnnn blood elves).

Even though the scenery and some of the bits and bobs and incidental objects make me wish there was MORE OF IT.

I love Ghostlands. It's gorgeous as hell, GOTHTASTIC, is full of solid lore (look at the names of the Forsaken--THEY WERE ELVES), has the pendant quest in it, has Forsaken-brand ridiculous humour ("ew, guys; fresh air *deadpan fase*"), has amazing NPC conversations, has enemies that are ACTUALLY SCARY AT-LEVEL (GODDAMMIT DAR'KHAN KEEP YOUR ABOMS ON A LEASH THEY KEEP STEPPING ON ME), has a nifty, somewhat tricky end-boss, and - you know what I'm glad it wasn't touched. While the plot timewarping is amusing, I don't want Blizzard's current quest team to fuck with it, because they'll fuck it up. They're stupid XD


Yeah. I love Ghostlands to bits. It has my favourite antags ever in it (the Scourge scares the hell out of me and I fully plan to ramble about WHY soon), it has Blood Elves and Forsaken being snarky, it's lore-licious, and it's pretty.

There need to be more zones like it. Northrend is full of the same kind of squee to me. XD

(Yeah I have a thing for Arthas leave me alone. XD He breaks the fourth wall all the time and that kicks butt.)

I know it's bad to not be forward-looking--parts of MoP look gorgeous. But the dev team's rosy-spec nostalgia-boner for WC1 is offputting as hell, so as ever I'll shrug and do what I want to do and make up my own story as I go.

I was an X-Phile, I am a champ at that. XD
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When I first saw these guys, I immediately thought "Okay that's weird but not totally unheard-of."

Reason is, my sister used to own a Green iguana. Ralphie, like all iguanas, had a parietal eye on the top of her head, between her actual eyes and back a scootch. it looked like a slightly different scale. While in most critters with a parietal eye it's just photoreceptive, in Tuataras it's more developed. Quoth wikipedia: "It has its own lens, cornea, retina with rod-like structures, and degenerated nerve connection to the brain, suggesting it evolved from a real eye."

Maybe Azeroth's basilisks have a third eye much like a Tuatara or Iguana (on whom it's fairly hard to see unless you know what you're looking for), and in the Outland critters it's still an actual eye? While it's not in the same place on their heads, there may be a crazy WoW biology reason for that. Whether it's 'Azerothian basilisks have a parietal eye that evolved form an actual eye' or 'Outland basilisks are Azerothian critters whose parietal eye evolved back into a third eye because WOOO TWISTING NETHER' or what, I can't really say!

Either way, a lizard with three eyes isn't impossible. WE HAVE SOME HERE XD it's just not an eyeball-eye as such.

Also, it's interesting to note that dragons, proto-drakes and basilisks are all six-limbed (yes, protos have six limbs, their foremost ones are just ittybitty)...and that Proto-drakes use their wings as an extra set of walky-legs/balancin' arms when they're on the ground. And they still have the 'lisk underbite (and so do Dragons though it's less pronounced). So you can see where the Titans went *pokity pokity*.

IT'S REALLY COOL XD I like when IRL biology and game biology make sense in relation to one another.

(I fully blame OMFG.FM podcast archives for getting me to think of this, specifically the Abstract Polygon segments of Council of Six. Someday I will figure out how to thank Strixus for being the second person to let me know I'm not alone in going gosh-wow nerdity over little details. My awesome girlfriend is the first one who did, and she is the most instrumental in encouraging me to do this nerdery; we have long discussions about Azerothian cuisine and B'elf desserts, so. XD)
yukie1013: (Default)
(NOTE: if you've seen these on WoWHead--yes, that was me! I know it's somewhat wimpy of me to have posted under a masculine alias--and under the in-universe IM handle of an old RP character, even, the nerdherding WRAPS AROUND TWICE--but a lot of things seem like a good idea after a couple bottles of hard cider and very little sleep. Egad, narf, poit and so on.)

So sometimes, I get bored.

Sometimes I get bored and there's a headless pyromaniac like *HAPEN* all over WoW with rhyming couplets.

And then poetry is like *HAPEN*. Because it has to.

Then sometimes I get an anthology manga that has that headless pyromaniac's backstory in it.

And then more poetry--yeah you get the picture.

(Warning: there are spoilers for the Horseman's backstory in here!)


So without further ado, I present:


And a bonus NEVER BEFORE SEEN because you bore with me! How the Risen view their 'boss' is pure conjecture on my part, and probably pees on the altar of canon...but seeing as they are all completely off their heads, they don't ACT any differently than their living counterparts, and they still call themselves the Scarlet Crusade...yeah, I'm thinking they're a TAD delusional. If they know who he really is, they're not letting on to ME, so I'm assuming they're really in denial. :B

But anyway, on with the nonsense, and I apologize for any exploding of canon...

... )
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So as you start to do the Matthias Lehner questchains, you get a dialogue option when you turn stuff in to cranky Sir Deathweaver.

"Koltira...this might sound strange...but i keep seeing some kid's ghost. Matthias Lehner... Does the name mean anything to you?"

His reply?

"All this fighting is finally getting to you. Don't worry, I won't divulge your little secret--lest the others think you're mad. Get some rest. it'll do you good."

This is one of a fucktillion reasons why I love this guy and why I'm so annoyed that he likely got written out on account of homophobic little stank-baby douchechildren. While he's snarking you into next week, he's also looking out for you, and does give a fuck in his own cantankerous way. You're a comrade--an annoying one, but still.

KOLTIRA IS AWESOME-SAUCE KTHXBAI and I'm sure Thassarian concurs XD XD

Als, my god, Icecrown is so damn much more atmospheric and scary than Twilight Highlands. I'll gush about why when I'm not ridonkulous from Benadryl. XD
yukie1013: (Default)
(As background: head-canonically, Ishandarr (my DK) was one of Keleseth's guards and aides back when Arthas was still kneading his brain pre-Light's-Hope. This is basically like herding cats.)

So tonight was like this--

Me: *decides to try to solo Utgarde Keep*

Utgarde: *is set to Heroic!*

Me: *has forgotten this* *and glyphs*

RNG: *loves to pants me*

Ishandarr: *wanders into Utgarde Keep and wtfPWNz everything*

Keleseth: *wanders around deep in thought, oblivious to the fact that Ishan is IN HIS BASE and IS KILLIN HIS MANS until Ishan is like an inch from him*

Ishan: Hi. *clunks Kel on the head*


RNG: *steals my drawers*

Me: dafuq?

Kel: :D! *spams* *frost tomb* *A MILLION AND TWIDDLEDY-SEVEN* *TIMES*

Ishan: @_o dafuq? *K.O.'d*

Kel: :3 So--because I won I get to keep him, right? ♥

Ishan: OW. Okay, spamming ice magic on the guy who is going to be wearing bed socks forever on account of because his toes rival Icecrown for stupid levels of cold? Is complete freaking bollocks. Also, no. Also, OW.

Kel: Come and help me find Navarius's copy of Thinking With Portals; he's all cross because he thinks I lost it.

Me: That was demented.

Ishan: That was a masterpiece of understatement.

Plotbunnies: * flourish!*

Me: ...Balls.
yukie1013: (Default)
...And this happens:

Me: ... ... ...Ishandarr, you're one of five kids, how did that happen o.O
Ishan: My parents married young, we're all pretty spaced out--
Acamarr: *enter the DK's maternal grandpa* And there are a lot of druids on your mother's side of the family.


Also, three "epic quests" happened last night!

spoilers for Elemental Bonds, Alex vs. Nelth, and the Hammer of Twihards )

In conclusion now I desperately want to write something that'll make the Twilight's Hammer SCARY, because right now they're kind of not. I don't feel al all trapped when I am running around their base (compare and contrast ICC, which looks like a giant spikety prison), two-headed ogres are innately funny, ettins die like drama queens, and Cho'gall is a nincompoop.

Also, I really wanna know why the Twihards are helping Deathwing at all, since it's implied that it's N'Zoth who made Nelthy all WTF, Cho'gall is a C'Thun fanboy, and we know that N'Zoth and C'Thun and Yogg-Saron don't like each other. Are the Twihards just--not really caring WHO blows up the world as long as it does blow up? I r confus.

At least it's easy to tell why Ragnaros is there. He's a pyro, Deathwing's a pyro, so it's time for a super-flamin' BBQ.

Bluh. The more I fumble around with Cata's overplot the more it looks like a disjointed mess. Oh well--maybe the Druids of the Cornholio Style Pyromania Plot will be cooler now that I've opened up the Molten Front.
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Dear Richard 'grammarfail' Knaak,

Seeing as the Scourge were ready, willing and able to raise Galakrond (big papa protodrake) from the dead--and we know this because Alexstrasza is like 'kindly blow their shit up so's to prevent this'--why in the actual scintillating airborne rhinestone-studded waltzing plaid copacabana-dwelling mondo-fuck would a tiny bone chip offa Galakron's big toe or whatever do anything to protect your obnoxious Tauren-stu from a hacked-off Lich King?

More likely, chumpstick, our dear old undead monarch would be toying with Tauren-stu's bovine ass. Giving false hope so that yanking the rug out from under him is just that much more FUN. It's what he does. It's who he is. Learn it, live it, love it. Remember who Ner'zhul is, and remember who Arthas is, and remember that the unified duo is something like /b/1000 multiplied by The Ganker. If you can't keep that simple-ass babby-basics shit straight you shouldn't be trying to write Warcraft anything ya old piece of fail. This just takes the cake for stupid and borderline-disturbing fapping over the dragons.

Bow down and thank all the gods that be for Kim Jae Hwan, as he's the only reason any of your work has a glimmer of merit.

Nyah nyah,


P.P.S. Yes I know this post is the equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel with the Mana Fortress's gigantimous fricking lay'zur cannon. XD
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They are enormous, prim, articulate, intellectual Ancient-Egypt-y spiders and that rocks.

So this made me really happy to see. XD

I like that people remember that Anub'arak wasn't a sellout. (I'm guessing it's epic spider pride /\8/\ that makes the living Nerubians figure he is; after all, nothing could possibly outwit or outclobber Anub so he must've thrown in his lot with the bodiless oaf, right? Most improper!) And that the Nerubians are not exactly willing fandoobies like the Cult of the Damned. Nerubians are arachnid Vulcans. XD

Blizzard seems to forget this, but they've forgotten a lot of stuff when it's convenient or Metzen hit the beer bong too hardthey got lazy or they forgot and didn't bother to look things up or w/e. Which...that's going the right way to futz your way into a corner plotwise. Diamond-shattering side-eye goes here.

ANYHOW back to the Nerubians...I wish we'd seen more of them in WoW, and we had gotten to go to Azjol-Nerub. We may well in the future if they move its zone map somewhere that isn't under Northrend lol--portal it like Quel'Thalas maybe. There are still old gods kicking about after all. I DUNNO MAN LOL WISHFUL THINKING.

self-indulgent AU yammering XD )
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So I've been listening to the Blue Plz podcast archives whilst I work (it helps me focus) and hit on an earlier episode in which TotalBiscuit interviewed Oxhorn (he of ROFLMAO fame); they mentioned a machinima called "Birth of the Forsaken" in which the music used was Verbum Caro Factum Est, and I immediately pounced on Youtube once I got home.

I am probably the only person ever who had not seen this yet. Lolol.

Yeah, it's old--it predates Sylvanas's blue high-elven-looking model and the stupidfestival with the way she's handled by writers; she's still got the Night Elf one here. Varimathras's old low-poly model makes an appearance here too. It's a very simple video. Not many fancy SFX at all, if there are any. But it works. The MOOD in this thing, WOW. The atmosphere. It's really, really evocative. The procession reminded me of the 'Ave Maria' sequence from Fantasia (though they really do not look much alike at all, snerk--this is how my mind works).

I don't know--something about this vid just hit me right between the eyes and smackbang in the heart simultaneously. Some of it is that I'm a sucker for choral music. Some of it is that I really like Sylvanas (though heaven save me from her stanning doofus fans, eesh) and this machinima made my brain hop back to comparing her to Jeanne d'Arc. (I have sane reasons for this comparison! It's not OMG EXACTLY TEH SAEM but rather who she is to her people and what she did for them.) Some of it is that I love Tirisfal and think it's beautiful, and I feel the same about Undercity. IT IS A BUNCH OF THINGS!

And now I keep imagining a Forsaken-and-DK choir singing Verbum Caro and that mental image refuses to go away even though it's very silly. The idea of Thassarian singing tenor is just glorious. Nathanos, of course, is baritone. (So's Ishandarr lol OCs. XD)
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Crimson Hall music! It has a sax in that sounds rather "Akio Car"-theme-esque.

A thing I wish the WotLK expansion had done is touch on the Blood Elves' legitimate beef with Arthas. And, y'know, explained why he seems to have thins Thing about elves....

The Crimson hall, and the Blood Princes' and Lana'thel's story, intrigue the hell out of me because they give me so much potential to PLAY WITH. I mean--for one, Lana is not avenging a boyfriend. That's something. Thalorien was not her lover or her husband, he was her best friend. It's unusual to see that in a franchise that seems to have narfed out a lot with gender role business. And not only is this the case, Lana manages to hold her own against wtfhax!Arthas for a while before he AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs and wins.

I really, really wish more of this story had been touched on in depth. Like--we know roughly who Valanar and Co. are with regard to their rank before death, and what happened to them, but little else. I would have LOVED to have seen something of their story, or Taldaram's, or AAAANY of the elfpires'. Who were Kal and Val before death? Why are they so close (the 'dear brother' thing--)? Who is Taldaram and why is he entrusted with such a big deal project? We know Kel and Val are asskickers if we have a DK and met them in the starter zone, but Tal is just kinda there. Who is he besides a dramatic pyro who has a habit of teleporting wayfuck across the room for the purpose of nomming boosted lowbies? AND! WTF happened to Atherann and Theraldis? SO much of the stuff dealing with the San'layn is SO intriguing. And the whole idea of the San'layn themselves beggars the question of what the heck is with Arthas's preoccupation with the Blood Elves seriously he has got an entire wing that is basically a harem there is something going on here you cannot tell me there is not.

There's a lot of things I wish had happened. For a big one, I wish we'd seen Garrosh get genuinely scared of LK, [ETA: if Nerz shows his hand and goes "OHAI" XD;;;] because, fuck, Ner'zhul is THE boogeyman after Gul'dan. He broke Draenor. He's become the opposite of everything orcs pride themselves on being. He has no honour. He doesn't sleep. I would have frigging LOVED to see Garrosh's loudmouthed bravado depicted as covering up his own fear and trying to convince himself that he is a bad enough dude to rescue the presidentkick the Lich King's ass. BUT--yeah. Characterization was one thing Wrath needed some huge help with.

I wish too that we'd seen evidence of the relationship that the Arthas novel introduced, i.e. Arthas and Varian being OMGBFF and having more chemistry than any of the canon pairings because Christie Golden hit up the Blizzard beer bong too many times. I mean, there's some stuff going on that you can easily parse as deliberate trollan--how the plague of the zombie invasion was spread, for example, and again with the plagued grain at Farshire. Like that's such a "HAY VARIAN THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING?" But then Varian hasn't gotten much in characterization full-stop outside the comics, let alone consistent thoughtful characterization, so NARF NARF POIT EGAD LOOKS LIKE AH GOTTA RITE THIS MAHSELF.

...And now I'm stuck with the mental image of( my version of) Varian hearing about the Crimson Halls, kind of BLINKING A LOT FOR A WHILE and then going, "...Why...does that bastard have a harem full of--of--elfpires!?"

And Jaina's all "Long story."

In conclusion Aethas is so freakin' Kael and no one can dissuade me from this.
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Continued from the last post. This one covers secondary characters, writing, story, and odds-and-ends.

I am so long winded, my god. XD;

bluh bluh! )
yukie1013: (Default)
ETA: it's 7:03 pm, and I HAVE CUT THIS THING IN HALF. It's still a wall of text. I'm still longwinded. But your finger won't die of scrolling anymore? Sorry, guys. I really need to learn to ramble less!

BEFORE I START: If you see me using the term 'Whattaguy', 'Whattagal' or 'Twinkmachine', I'm talking about the kind of character that used to be referred to as Mary Sue (or Gary Stu more rarely). Jerks have co-opted those terms, so I make up my own, or use better terms I've heard others use.

This post is completely personal-opinion-tacular; I recognize that not everyone's going to see character the way I do. I am making ZERO attempts here to 'violently force my opinion on others' as I've been accused of.

This post is also LONG AS HELL (understatement), rambly (understatement), and not very serious either.

Anyhow, on with the nonsense.

So--the Sunwell Trilogy! It's about as goofy as those 1960 and 70s X-Men comics wherein Stan Lee and his imitators got really soap-operatic. XD The charmingly-retro art style is mostly what gives me this impression, as Richard Knaak is not and never will be one fifth-the writer Stan Lee at his goofiest is. No, I don't like Richard Knaak, deal with it. The Sunwell manga doesn't do anything to disprove my opinions of this guy, but it still manages to be readable because of the artwork. The art carries these manga; if not for Jae-Hwan Kim's drawing skillz busting their asses to pick up the miles of slack left by Knaak these would not be as fun to read as they are.

I'm going to try to make this semi organized so that people whose brains work in a more or less linear manner don't have to deal with the fact that mine zoops around like a hummingbird on amphetamines. HERE BE SPOILERS BTW!

I cover art and main characters in this one, speculate a fuck-tonne, and make really bizarre comparisons in this half; the next one's secondary people and writing, etc.

bluh bluh! )
yukie1013: (Default)
So I'm semi-low-level questing again; finishing up the Hero of the Mag'har questline on my DK, even though it's chronologically not possible for Ishandarr to have done this. (He was busy being fascinated by his toes wiggling after being newly-rezzed by Arthas, at this point in time.)

...Okay, I love Greatmother Geyah to pieces.


And more things! )


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July 2014

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