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In game-canon these either made me bored (Theradras and Zaetar) or were obvious to me but kept being read as actually ZOMGvillainy regardless of how obviously bad one party is at lying, and the innuendo dropped by the ladies said party is talking to (Gerard and Theresa). Anyway. I don't really care what game-canon is anymore. This is how things work in Kyl's and my headcanon.

PAIRING NUMERO UNO: Earth-Princess Theradras and Keeper Zaetar

In canon this is boring and meh, he regrets having boinked with Theradras because centaurs and lol she's fat et cetera snnnnnorrrrre.

Headcanonically, he doesn't regret it. They still care very much for each other, and are dorkishly cute. Currently he's in Maraudon because they cannot figure out how to help him leave. There's something wrong with the spiritual energies around Maraudon and Zaetar can't get back into the Dream properly. (In-game, this'd mean that the player characters basically enable his spirit to leave and walk the Dream again freely until his body recovers. And it'd be him and Theradras giving you quests.) Zaetar doesn't regret his relationship with Theradras; he still loves her, and she him. He's not even mad at the Centaur for fragging him; he personally blames whatever is wrong with the Emerald Dream, and the lingering influence of the Old Gods. Theradras IS mad at them though and it's one of those 'I love you kids but you drive me insane, gfto'. The Centaur don't come into her sanctum; if they do she punts them.

Needless to say when Cho'Gall comes a-calling Theradras tells him where to stick it. This is where her husband's body is healing and where his spirit can visit her, and she's not leaving, so fuck right off you peabrained nattering two-headed doucherocket.

PAIRING NUMERO DOS: Gerard Abernathy and Theresa

Canonically there's not much going on here, though Gerard's female buddies drop a shit-tonne of innuendo whenever he brags abut what he allegedly did to Theresa. It's a throwaway background-scenery thing at best.

Headcanonically? The innuendo is understandable lol. Gerard's claims of mad science are complete BS, and it's obvious--he either goes into too much shocking zomg detail or leaves too much out, and Leona and Joanna think it's hilarious and like to make him splutter with the innuendo--if he catches onto it. (Leona and Joanna are A Thing and fell in love over being alchemy-geeks.) Mostly it flies over his head. Gerard is sort of oblivious by turns.

Gerard and Theresa are A Thing and it's basically Undercity's worst-kept secret. They were alchemists and mages in life and she was his partner then; their relationship is perhaps a bit on the quirky side but it is very much consensual. He's dead now, but not much has changed from how it was when they both had a pulse. Theresa's vision is somewhat peculiar; she was blinded in a lab accident and Gerard used their research to try to save her eyes; she ended up something like Illidan, visually blind but able to perceive magic. She's got nowhere near the magical visual acuity of Illibeans but she does all right (if Illidan's vision is like full daylight, hers is like night-vision). The blindfold cuts down on visual-wavelength interference, and it's soft and protects the rather sensitive eyelids behind it. And--well--SHE LIKES WEARING IT, DON'T PESTER THE WOMAN.

Sylvanas knows very well what's going on, but sees no problem with it. Theresa's basically an honourary Forsaken, and during the Alliance's raids on the city she dispatched many a clueless asshat by pretending to be an innocent victim and then going all scalpel-happy.

tl;dr it's consensual, they are happy, they are kinky science bros.


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July 2014

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